[“…I initially worried that what I had said may had been the unpardonable sin but now, looking back, I understand that it was not. Vincent Cheung’s materials helped me realize this…
I am a firm believer, a child of God, and deep down inside I know that God has me and loves me. I have OCD, and it never effected me so much spiritually as it has in the past year.
…The worry essentially comes back every now and again of “what if” I actually did say one of my terrible thoughts out loud. I love God, the faith He has given me is all that matters to me. I keep worrying though about what I might have said, because I literally have no idea what I might have said, and I fear I never will know. I keep moving forward in faith, but the fear keeps coming back. Can I ever have true assurance of my salvation ever again?”]

Billy,

I will give a few quick points, but I cannot promise I will engage you beyond this.

I am encouraged to hear you say you read Vincent’s material on the “unpardonable sin” and this was able to give clarity and relief. I am glad you are moving on with faith. This is the right way to go forward.

“Can I ever have true assurance of my salvation ever again?” Did you get this question from the bible or something else like your feelings? Obviously the bible teaches we can have assurance of our salvation by the Word, The Spirit and our faith. James says if you doubt, then you will be tossed to and fro, and this is what you sound like. One moment you are taking a stand with faith on God’s word, then the next you step off from faith, to then take a stand on feelings, as if feelings can give you knowledge.

There are several issues here in your letter, but the most immediate issue is that you are too focused on yourself, your feelings and even the psychological aspect of faith. Faith is simply an intellectual assent to God’s truth. Nothing more. There is no more to it. Any other focus is not a focus on faith. But only faith in God will save you. Take forgiveness of sins, as an example. Faith is not about “my” intellectual record of my wrongs. Sin is not a nasty feeling. Sin is a record of lawbreaking that God has in His own mind. In God’s mind, because of Jesus, God sees our report card as having no records of lawbreaking. None. It is irrelevant if you still consider it, because only God’s thoughts about it matter. Faith is not you thinking about, “thinking about” your sins or feeling if they still are attached to you or not. Faith is agreeing with God that He sees you perfect and blameless and loved. Anything else is not faith, but doubt and sinful worry.

This is why faith is often said with a faith confession. You are saying out loud what God has said and you agree with Him. Faith confesses and blows the horns of praise before the Wall of Jericho comes down, not after. Because the promises of God are certain, absolute and reality itself, you can praise and confess the reality before you see it. Abraham confessed over and over, every time he introduced himself, that he was the Father of Nations before it happened. He trusted God and so there was no doubting the outcome, no matter how dead his body was, or how he felt about it.

I say this because you confessed unbelief, “Can I ever have true assurance of my salvation ever again?” Out of the heart the mouth speaks. You cannot confess unbelief and expect to get better. You must only speak faith, in your mind and on your lips. There is still hope. Stop confessing unbelief and only speak faith. What you think and confess God will give you, is what God will give you. When there is a promise there is a way out.

I am sympathetic for struggling with inner weakness, for I had to craw my way out of a deep pit and take a stand on God’s wonderful promises. I had to play Christian music, listen to encouraging sermons, play promise verses on a recording over and over and over to the point I wanted to vomit. But I kept at it until I was able to renew my mind. You must put everything into agreeing with God. Also, praying in the Spirit and receiving interpretations and God’s anointing presence has been immeasurable in helping me overcome.

Also, it is not God who is resisting you to be sound in mind, filled with Joy and full of peace. God is the one person who is not hindering you. Jesus is a minister of the New Contract (See Vincent Cheung. Our Contract). He is the Vine we are the branches. He only ministers joy, forgiveness, peace, strength, answered prayers and power. He does not minister sickness, pain, suffering and troubles. Satan, your old man (the old way of thinking that needs to be renewed) and false teachers will hinder you, but God will always receive you.

If it is demonic you must resist Satan and he will run from you with his tail tucked under his legs. You must have faith and command the demonic harassment to leave. Vincent Cheung explains this in “On Spiritual Attacks.”

If it is wrong thinking, then you must renew it. If you gave Satan a foothold, then it might take some time to fully renew your mind (but with faith you can always make it go away in a moment), but God guarantees in the Contract that He will write His laws on your minds so that we love obeying Him. He promises to do it. Remind God of this in your prayers and thank Him for it. He is faithful. If you need somewhere to start, then confess Psalm 23 over yourself every day. God wants you to have a joyful sound mind more than you do. He is the only one not hindering you. Have faith in God. He did not withhold His only Son, and so He will not withhold a sound mind.

God has given you the power to renew your mind. Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3 says we get stronger in our inner man by knowing and experiencing God’s love for us. The fear of God will start you on the path of wisdom and it keep your feet firmly planted there; however, God’s love will make you mature and powerful.

OCD. He wants you healed more than you want it. Pound healing verses in your mind day and night and confess them out loud. If you seek, then God promises you will find. With faith you can have whatever you ask for. See “Faith Override”

Lastly, it is power that will deliver you. (see my short essay, “Power is what will Finally Deliver You,” Also see Vincent Cheung,  “Cure for Psychological Trauma.” ) God’s power and love are yours for the taking. Through Jesus Christ and His promises, God’s power is a low hanging fruit that is easy to pick by faith.  Do not doubt, only believe.

It is good to rebuke and correct the old way of thinking, but you need to mostly focus on the positive. When you are marching around Jericho see the walls coming down, because they will. God will do His part. Think about God’s good promises and visualize yourself today, tomorrow, next week and next year, completely healed and happy. Give God thanks, knowing His promise are more real than anything you are currently feeling or experiencing.

In Christ, circumstances do not dominate us, we dominate circumstances.
In Christ, our old fears, now fear us.

-from email