A few quick thoughts on sex.

I have never heard a pastor preach a sermon on sex and how much sex we ought to have, without negating the scripture with their experience. Imagine me saying, “after you have worked through your emotional history and talked out your disappointments and after you have visited the doctor, then you are to obey God and repent of your sins.” Or imagine if I said, “after a person has warmed you up with nice words, then you are to love them as yourself.” Most would recognize the error of this. We are to obey God’s commands regardless of our feelings, history or any other excuse. The compassionate thing to do, is to tell someone to obey God regardless of anything else. We are promised if we obey, God will reward and bless us.

When you read “breaking of bread” it sometimes refers to the church taking the lord’s supper, such as Acts 2:42. When you take of the Lord’s supper you are remembering His substitutionary atonement for you. Jesus in John 17 refers to His sanctifying work results in Him and His people becoming “one,” and prays that we become one with Him and the Father. We are also told we are “one spirit” with Jesus in Corinthians 6. The context of this passage is about sex. We are warned not to be one flesh with someone not our spouse, because we are one spirit with Jesus. Sex is the act of being one flesh. It is the only way to be one flesh. Although this chapter is spoken of in the negative we can draw out some general presuppositions or doctrines.

The way the New Testament speaks of breaking of bread, as referring to communion, we understand they did it often, if not daily. By partaking of the Lord’s supper, it is a reminder we are one spirit with God. By faith, when we partake of the Lord’s supper, we do, or behave as one spirit with Him. However, beyond the Lord’s supper, every time we focus our faith on Jesus Christ, every time we praise Him in faith, every time we have our morning devotional, every time we pray in tongues, every time we approach God’s throne to ask and receive, we behave as one spirit with God. Faith in God is our acting like one spirit with God. A Christian who is faithful in His love to God, frequently behaves as one spirit with God.

If we consider the commandment of God to be one flesh, unlike the multitude ways to apply faith with God, there is only one way to be one flesh. This is sex. It is not mainly about having children, but the command is firstly and simply, to be one flesh in pleasure. Imagine only having faith in God one time a week? How about once a month? I would be hard pressed to say a person who only had one moment of faith in God a month, could still be called a Christian. A healthy disciple of Jesus is frequently placing their faith in God, and by this, they are constantly being one spirit with God.

The amount of sex is only determined by one thing, as it is for everything else regarding Christian ethics. It is determined by the command of God. The command is to be and act like one flesh. There is only one way to do one flesh. There is no excuse to make God’s commands not apply to you.

There is an entire book in the bible about sexual attraction and sex. Solomon is like the protagonist of a hero story. His heroic adventure is about sex with his wife. A husband’s sexual escapades with his wife is the bible’s hero story. Solomon gives a public call for us to gather in the public square to hear Solomon describe his sexual adventures with his wife. This book is to be our example as well. It is a command to follow the biblical examples. Also, if we consider that most fasts are only a day, or a few days, we realize the presupposition of scripture is frequent sex, because it says to come back quickly so that Satan does not tempt you (1 Corin. 7:5).

So far, we have mainly focused on the positive way to obey God’s command to be one flesh by sex; however, there is more. The scripture says that when you are married you give up the rights of your body and give those rights to your spouse. If one spouse wants sex, the other spouse has given up the rights to say no. You cannot say, “well, then I want my spouse’s body not to want sex.” If you play that game, then you have an infinite regress, and the verse has no meaning. If you cannot obey God, then it is better not to marry. The reason we repent of our sins and ask God to save us, is because God commands us (Acts 17:30). Christian behavior and ethics is determined by only one thing, which is God’s command.

In all this we never negate the situation where a spouse is sick and needs help. If one gives selfish demands in this situation, they are worse than an unbeliever. However, to be sick is a curse and an attack of Satan (Acts 10:38). One reason the devil attacks us with sickness, is that we are busied helping our family, rather than devoting our time to serve God and expand His kingdom. One strategy used in war is to injure soldiers rather than kill them, because healthy soldiers are taken away from fighting to help the wounded. Satan does the same in his fight against Christians with sickness, injuries, and cancers. We are commanded to be healed, just as much as we are commanded to praise God, James 5:15. James is not commanding that we pray, but is commanding we get healed. It is not optional to apply or reject the gospel, and healing is part of the gospel. Other things can be the gospel, such as forgiveness, however something cannot be more gospel than healing is. Because healing is the gospel and we are commanded to be healed, it is wrong to stay sick. It is wrong to allow Satan to steamroll over you with sickness and pains, and by this force others in prolonged care of you, when they could use their time in serving God. You are commanded to do the opposite. You are to storm the gates of hell and tear them down. You are to heal the sick, cast out demons, raise the dead, and set the prisoners free. Thus, staying sick or in pain is no excuse to not have sex. It is wrong not to constantly be one flesh for the act of pleasure.

If you read Song of Solomon you realize Christian sex and orgasms, ought to be the envy of the world.