A few years before COVID hit, Vincent Cheung had begun to publish more materials on faith. I therefore began to rethink and refocus on such topics. However, it was not until COVID that I fundamentally changed my lifestyle to seek God in a more devotional manner and with greater faith. God had warned me a few years prior, in a divine trance, that I was not internalizing the scripture in faith and inner strength, as I ought. Even after this, I was still somewhat blind to what that meant.

When COVID forced most of us homebound, I found myself stuck in my house. I remember I took the second COVID booster treatment. (I won’t linger on this other than to say, if you have faith, it doesn’t matter what you do. As long as you are not willfully testing God, in good conscience, you are free to do what you want—hey, faith isn’t a straitjacket, it’s freedom with a divine safety net.) However, I began to feel like I was half dead for a few weeks or months. At one point, I was standing in my living room, and I felt so bad I halfway passed out; I went blind, my veins and heart felt cold and slow, and I could barely breathe. Time slowed down. I felt like I had one foot in the grave.

I couldn’t even speak, but in my mind, I cried out to God to help me. I remembered there were dreams I had and prophecies about me that needed to be fulfilled. I immediately felt just enough strength flow into me that I pulled myself onto the chair, and I heard the Holy Spirit say, “You will not die, I will help you, I will restore you and strengthen you.”

At the time, I did not have health insurance, so going to the doctor wasn’t an option; but that was for the best. I had a better physician, after all—who needs co-pays when you’ve got the Creator on speed dial? The word spoken to me by the Spirit took the edge off any fear or worry I had. I felt bad for months afterward, but I slowly got better.

It was after that I changed my life every day to seek God in a more devotional way. I remember downloading the Joseph Prince app for my phone and starting my first devotional. I then signed up for Kenneth Copeland’s email daily devotional. I remember talking to myself, saying, “I can’t believe I am reading these guys!” The doctrine of God’s sovereignty is so easy, and you shouldn’t boast about knowing it as if it were a difficult thing to do. It is a doctrine no one can take from me. I say this to say, reading the faith teachers has zero chance of harming my understanding of God’s sovereignty. And this is exactly the issue. I knew God’s sovereignty, but I was not living in the joy and peace of the Spirit, and was not in the place where my prayers were answered as a common thing. I needed to grow in these areas. The Pentecostals and charismatics were too weak. The faith teachers were the only ones who did not qualify Jesus’ statements about faith.

When I was in my teenage years, I remember praying in tongues, and during this time I read and believed in the sovereignty of God (Romans 9) without anyone teaching me these doctrines. I was reminded I was at my best when the Spirit filled me with power. The faith teachers also reminded me how important praying in tongues is. And so I began to pray in tongues often. I began to speak out loud the promises of God over my life as faith confessions and declarations. I began to sing and praise God more and more. I renewed my commitment to go over my lists of promise verses, over and over. I began to listen to faith preachers preach on the topics of faith and miracles.

Within months, I saw a qualitative difference in my life. Before this, I would often go to sleep with stress and fears keeping me up. But now, all that negative stuff lifted off my mind, and I was sleeping like a baby—snoring optional, peace mandatory. When I prayed, I began to see more of my prayers answered. I noticed fewer doubts intruding in.

Before, my inner man was so weak, and all I knew was my own experience. When I prayed, I was filled with doubts and stress, and now with hindsight I recognize I was often being demonically harassed with force attacks (like how Vincent described it in “On Spiritual Attacks”). Satan was making me feel condemned, with a sense of dread and no way of escape. Godly fear can make you feel dread, but it will also show you the way out with hope, and the Holy Spirit saying “yes” to the promises of God applied to you.

When you read the Bible, you realize you should feel nothing but joy and peace and confidence when you ask God for something. Anything less than this, and there is something wrong or weak in your inner man—frankly, it’s like trying to run a marathon on spiritual spaghetti legs.

Over the following years, some of these old weaknesses or demons have tried to come back, but since I am stronger in my inner man, and I know how to take my authority in Jesus, I command them to leave, and they run with their tails stuck between their legs. See my essay, “Power is what will Finally Deliver You.” I do not claim to be perfect, nor am I to the point I want to be in power and faith, but having a stronger inner man (which is mostly measured by faith) has made a decisive difference in my life.

And it will do the same for you.

I am here to remind you, All is not lost. Renew your mind in faith and confidence in God’s good promises. Make your inner man strong. Know how much God loves you and has given to you. And when you pray, you will have what you ask, you have see what you confess, and you will process what you command in Jesus name.